The common dress codes
- White tie: tailcoat for you; a full-length gown for her
- Black tie: dinner jacket and bow tie; an evening dress
- Cocktail: a dark suit; a knee- or midi-length dress
- Lounge suit or business: a suit and tie; a smart dress or tailoring
- Smart casual: no tie needed; smart but relaxed — ask the host if unsure
Matching, not matching
You dress for the occasion, not to coordinate. Agreeing colours is rarely needed; agreeing the level of formality always is.
If the dress code needs something she does not own
Say so in the plan. Any outfit cost for a specific dress code is agreed before the day, never sprung on her or you.
Frequently asked questions
What does black tie optional mean?
Black tie is welcome; a dark suit is acceptable. She would wear an evening or cocktail dress.
Should we coordinate colours?
Not usually. Avoid white at a wedding, and match the level of formality.
What if the invitation says nothing?
Ask the host, or default to a suit and a smart dress for an evening event.